Men make no bones about their love of oral sex, and we’re not talking about performing it; our oral sex survey reveals that men love giving as well as receiving.
However, some women experience barriers to thoroughly enjoying―or even receiving― oral sex, at least the type they would like to have. Below, we share tips for enjoying your partner’s oral attention!
Simple right? Often, it is that easy to get what you’re after, so easy in fact that the answer was under your nose the whole time, but you just didn’t realize it.
Many partners (the best ones, actually) will find your assertiveness irresistible. Not only this, but because it’s something they can provide, and something they know you want, they will feel desired in turn; and who doesn’t love that?
There are other, wordless ways of making your desires known, however; next time your partner is covering your breasts and stomach with kisses, lift your pelvis up off the bed – or better yet, lay a hand on their shoulder and give them a gentle push in the direction you would like them to go.
Perhaps you want to ask, but you’re experiencing some insecurity based on many pretty common factors, which we call:
Oral Barrier #1: Wax on or Wax Off?
When we’re younger and just beginning to explore partnered sex, we can fret and obsess over how we look naked, convinced that if we don’t look like a model (or pornstar) perfect, our partner will not be interested in sex.
However, one of the sexiest attributes that a person can have is not a particular body-type or type of personal grooming; instead, it’s both being comfortable in your body and the knowledge that your partner is way more interested in you enjoying yourself than how you look. As long as you’re comfortable and confident; your partner is not likely to care about the shape and style of your body hair any more than you care about theirs.
Oral Barrier #2: That ‘Unfresh’ Feeling
When a long day at work leads to dinner, and then drinks and a bit of a dance, you’d understandably be a bit hesitant to have someone’s face between your legs when you finally get under the sheets.
Now we’re not saying to use a douche or one of those scented sprays― they can be quite harmful to the natural pH balance and florae of your body. Suggest sharing a sexy shower with your partner – it’ll be a significant bit of wet and wild foreplay which will leave you with that natural clean smell all over.
Oral Barrier #3: A Mile a Minute
During sex―from foreplay to penetration to orgasm to post-coital cuddling―we’re usually receiving and giving a lot of different stimulation, both physical and mental. When we’re the sole receiver of stimulus, we can often find that our minds can tend to wander, despite our enjoyment. And, as anyone can tell you, trying to make yourself focus can be the easiest way to make sure that your mind ends up a million miles away.
Many things can help add to a more immersive experience―mood-setting music, using your hands to massage your partner’s scalp, or having them use their hands to massage your legs and bottom, for example. You can also focus on each way your partner is interacting with your body and ‘ narrate’ the action to yourself; vocalize which ones feel good and what you want them to be doing to not only put yourself firmly ‘within the action’ as well as to give them hints and clues on how to give you the best pleasure possible.
Enough of the negatives that can affect our oral enjoyment; let’s move right along to some fantastic positive additions!
Oral Improver #1: The Pillow Platter
Here’s a small variation on the standard position for receiving oral sex that makes a huge difference.
When you’re on your back, with knees bent, and legs positioned shoulder width or slightly wider apart (essentially the missionary position of oral), put a pillow under your bottom, so your pelvis is raised off the bed. This will perfectly present your clitoris to your partner and will put you in the perfect position for G-spot stimulation with their fingers.
Oral Improver #2: Grab ’n’ Grind
There’s nothing worse than when your partner switches up their tongue technique right as you’re getting to where you need to be, so when you’ve reached your orgasmic plateau, feel free to send some nonverbal signals for them to stay the course.
Grab – don’t pull – a handful of their hair to give the strong signal to stay right where they are, or grind your hips a bit to get your clitoris in the perfect position to be pleased. They’ll get the hint to keep going, and will likely appreciate the hotness of this enthusiastic move. Just be mindful of your pubic bone―it can inflict some damage if you ‘buck’ too hard.
Oral Improver #3: Tease with a Toy
Your vibrator is already amazing when you’re on your own, but what if you combine it with the sensations of a tongue on your clitoris? A vibrator designed for internal G-spot massage is an absolutely a mind-blowing addition to cunnilingus, providing dual stimulation of a kind you just can’t get on your own.
What’s our number one tip for enjoying oral sex more? Stop worrying about how it’s ‘supposed’ to feel or how much you’re ‘supposed’ to love oral; we all have preferences for certain types of stimulation that predispose us to certain acts, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being a fan of oral if it just doesn’t do it for you. After all, there are plenty of other amazing things to do in the bedroom!